Of Questions And
by sheegurrseagull
Summary: No matter what they do, no matter how much they tried to ignore it, it all still came back to the same dilemma. That Hiyori was a human and Yato was a god... "Stay?" "Of course…". Yatori. oneshot.


**Of Questions and…**

 **Summary:** No matter what they do, no matter how much they tried to ignore it, it all still came back to the same dilemma. That Hiyori was a human and Yato was a god. "Stay?" "Of course…"

oneshot

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Noragami. Adachi Toka does.

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Hiyori ran, the rain making her clothes cling to her skin. Dark clouds hung over her as she sped through the rain and made ripples through puddles. Her breathing was heavy, lungs and feet begging for her to stop and rest.

But she couldn't.

She won't stop running.

Why?

Because of Yato.

She supposed it was just an ordinary night, with the god pestering her with messages. She was just about to sleep, the day had been too hectic and all she wanted was rest. That was when her eyes caught a message from the silly god.

And it bothered her. No. It had scared her more so than bothered. The message had made her blood run cold and her hair stand on end. Her eyes ran over it again and again. Was it Yato who said this? She read it, silently hoping that it was a hoax. She chuckled, albeit it was forced. Her finger absentmindedly typed the words, that maybe he was joking. That it was all a prank and the god wasn't actually entertaining such thoughts. Oh how she prayed he was.

 _Your jokes seem to lack luster, tonight, Yato._ She typed.

The wait for the reply made her thoughts grow wild with worry. It was painstaking but all she could do was this. Her knuckles shook and grew pale by the minute. She closed her eyes tightly and moved her hands to rest under her chin.

 _Please don't be reckless. Please laugh and tell me it was nothing. That you're fine, Yato._

She hoped all of this. He had to be.

When Hiyori's phone rang, she almost lunged at it to finally get an answer but what she saw, only made her drop it. The sound of it hitting the floor was deafening, her world shifted and in that instant, Hiyori knew…

She had to go to him.

She went down the stairs and threw the door open, it felt like she was, although her thoughts didn't register much. The wind immediately sent ice through her skin, but she bit her tongue and weathered through it.

 _Yato._

 _:::::_

And so, here she was, approaching the big sakura tree by the river. She sped through, the sight of the tree bringing relief that Yato was indeed close. Each step sent anticipation through her body but also the dread that he wasn't alright.

"Yato!"

She clutched her chest and heaved another breath, stopping just under the tree. Her eyes frantically scanned the surroundings for any sign that he hadn't left yet.

"Yato!"

The wind howled and the rain poured, drowning all sound. But still, Hiyori hoped that her voice would reach him. Because god knows what he may have done by now. A grunt escaped her lips, the tree offering little support for her strained body.

 _Why aren't you here? You're supposed to be here!_

Yato had told her this was where he was. That he was drinking what little sake left from Kofuku's party. She gulped and pushed herself off the tree, renewed determination in her eyes. Even though the rain poured hard on her, she had to find him because he's her friend.

Little by little, her throat grew raspy as she called for him but all the answer she got was the wind howling in her ears and the cold wrapping its tendrils round her body. Hiyori had looked everywhere and called for his name. She had searched around the vicinity, by the river and still no sign of him. Soon enough, she found herself under the sakura tree yet again, her arms wrapped around her torso.

Heaving a sigh, she clutched her head and slowly slumped to the ground. The search was fruitless, all she gained from it was that sick feeling at the pit of her stomach. Was it worry? Hopelessness? Anxiety? Whatever it was, she had enough time to think about it. Hiyori looked up, droplets of rain slowly sliding down her face. Maybe this could wash all that away, she hoped. But in the depths of her subconscious, she knew it wouldn't, what she needed now was security. She needed to know that he was safe. That he hadn't done the deed yet.

"Yato…" Hiyori whispered. The distraught sound, again, lost in the barrage of water. Her mind replayed the message, and with it, the worry in her stomach swelled.

 _What has he gotten himself into?_

"Hiyori?" Hiyori's head snapped up at the sound of the voice and there he was. Yato stood in front of her, looking as wrecked as she was. It wasn't an illusion, he really was there, Hiyori saw how the droplets slowly descended on his face and how his jersey was soaking wet. It really was him.

For a moment, no words were uttered and the only sound they could hear were the occasional car passing and the torrent of water falling on them.

Yato looked away first, his hand coming up to help Hiyori stand. It was shaky, Hiyori noted, he was nervous. She stared at it and made no move to stand, for what would you have done if you finally found the person you were looking for hours? Hiyori didn't know, should she get angry? Cry? Remain nonchalant? Shrug like she did no tedious task? These thoughts ran through her mind, her eyes staring at his hand. She looked at Yato, and sighed. Her hand came up to reach his but it was hesitant and cautious. Should she? Hiyori bit her lip and decided to jump.

Their skins touched, and they both felt it, the pulse. The pulse that had fueled something close to desire in their chests.

Yet Hiyori ignored it, she tried to ignore the sensations it brought but alas, with her hand grasped tightly in his, it had brought thousands of emotions flooding. Yato pulled her to him and like a virus, had let go of her hand too quickly. He coughed, another rain filled pause settling between them. She mouthed a thank you, her hands fumbling at her clothes. As they both stood still, she was left wondering why such tension existed between them.

 _Oh yeah, that stupid and outrageous message of his._

"We should head for a dry place, Hiyori." Yato said. Hiyori turned to him and lowered her head. Her hair shielded her face, and for that she was grateful. It was a barrier of a sort, it would prevent him from seeing the contradicting emotions on her face.

"Not yet…" She whispered, Hiyori moved and faced the other way, her back to him. Yato furrowed her brows at her.

"Are you sure? I mean-"

"Not yet…" Hiyori whispered but this time, it was more forceful. Yato sighed and ran a hand through his hair, oblivious. Again, he insisted, "The rain's only getting stronger, we should-"

"I SAID, NOT YET!" Hiyori finally turned to him and clenched her fists. Yato stood there, frozen with shock. The silence between them was filled with tension, tension the god wanted to break. He had had enough shit to deal with today.

"What is it no-", she cut him off

"I WAS WORRIED, YOU UNGRATEFUL DOLT!" At this Yato looked her straight in the eye. She fumed and took a step forward, making him step back. "I WAS SO WORRIED THAT I CAME HERE, RAN THROUGH THE RAIN AND LOOKED FOR YOU FOR HOURS! FOR HOURS, YATO!" she exasperated. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! WHAT MADE YOU SAY THOSE THINGS?! WHAT DID?" Hiyori pounded on his chest. "I didn't know what to do so I- so I…"

"Hiyori…" he whispered, his hands tightly grasping her wrists.

She faced him, the expression on her face ensuing chaos in Yato's mind."What'd you mean by it?"

 _What did I mean by it?_ he thought. There were a thousand things he has done but- he went stiff and his expression darkened,

 _So it's because of that._

It wasn't the first time he had thought of it, but it was the first time he had voiced it out. Now look where it got him. He laughed and scratched his nape, smiling at Hiyori, "I-It was nothing." Yato knew he wasn't fooling anyone, Hiyori was too perceptive to be fooled by such an obvious lie.

Hiyori looked at him, unbelieving. A slight tinge of pain in her rose eyes. How could he still lie to her? She thought they went beyond that, that their bond had gotten so strong they wouldn't dare tell the other a lie, and yet.. he was. He's making her see through lenses she didn't need. She knew she could handle what he has to say, and then they'd both go home, free of worry. She could help him but he was too stubborn to see that.

Hiyori, before she knew it, had ripped her wrist from his grip.

"Why are you lying, Yato?" her voice begging

 _I don't want to_ , he pleaded. "I'm not!" Yato grinned at her, his hands coming up to rest inside his jersey pockets. He fisted his knuckles, trying to stop it from shaking.

"Then were you just joking?"

 _I wasn't_ , "Yes, I was."

Hiyori's eyes fell to the ground, _Lies..._

"I've never been better, Hiyori." Yato insisted

 _Lies_

"That was just a joke, you should know me by now, Hiyori-chaaan."

 _I do know you. I know you're lying._

Yato moved to grasp her hands and she flinched and stepped back. He stopped, the awful feeling running through his system. The sick questions that came with it were no exception. Through all this, Yato tried to stay calm and act like he was his normal self. He gulped and stuttered, "Let-"

"Lies…" she exhaled, before adding, "Do you really want to die, Yato?!"

Thunder roared, the rain pouring harder on both of them.

"Is that what you meant by your message, Yato? That you want to die?" she asked, the rain muffling her voice.

 _Hiyori… If I die, will I be a human?_ Hiyori recalled his message.

Yato's face was shadowed by darkness, his expression unreadable. He hated everything about this. He knew he should've just kept these thoughts to himself. It worried that one woman he had much affection for. He didn't want to worry her but something in deep in his mind wanted someone to talk to. Damn his subconscious. Damn it.

 _Hiyori… If I die, will I be a human?_

"Yato…" Hiyori's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Her eyes, perfectly showing how much she had worried. "What's wrong?"

 _Everything,_ he thought.

"If you wanted to die... I- We'd be lost. Do you even know what it'll do to everyone?! You're family and if you die, we'd be sad. They may get over it but-" Hiyori, before she could stop it, had tears spilling on her cheeks. She hoped the rain could hide that. But it didnt. "BUT I WONT! YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME- TO EVERYONE- THAT IF YOU DIED. EVERYTHING WON'T BE THE SAME! I NEED YOU, YATO." she stopped wiped water from her face, her voice now, barely controlled. "I'm selfish. I just- I cant possibly imagine not having you in my lif-"

"I don't." He cut the girl off, and looked at Hiyori through his wet bangs. "I don't want to die..." he whispered

Lightning flashed in the distance, illuminating both their faces. Hiyori saw it, at that instant, she saw the tumult of clashing emotions on his face.

"I don't want to die. What I want is-" Hiyori saw his hesitation to continue as he refused to look her in the eye. "Nothing." He exhaled, his hands running through his hair.

"Then why'd you say that? What do you mean by it?" Yato heard the desperation in her voice. They had been going at this game for quite some time now, the way their clothes clung to their skin and how their hair stuck to their faces was evidence. And yet, Yato hasn't had built enough courage to answer everything…. yet.

He sighed, "It's just as you read it, Hiyori. I'm tired of all of it."

"Yato… Why would you throw everything away? What about your dream?" Hiyori neared him and took his hand into hers, watching as their fingers intertwined. She looked up his face and searched his eyes for the truth. "What about that dream of having everything you wanted?"

He stared at her, his heart pounding in the background as he felt her skin on his. "Maybe… what I thought I wanted wasn't what I really wanted. I realized that some time ago, especially when I was in hell and was about to die." Yato gulped.

"You can't quit being a god, Yato."

"I know…" his voice cracked. "I know."

The crackle of thunder reverberated through the musky air again, perfectly depicting what they both felt.

"I know that I can't quit… I'll live forever while everything withers away, while you grow old." he took a shaky breath in

Hiyori felt her breath hitch when he said that. While she grew old?

"Wh-while I grow old?" she asked, Yato tightened his grip on her hands

"Yes, while you get a job, make a family and-" he grit his teeth but continued, "and forget about me."

She inhaled sharply, the naked expression on his face worsening. It happened before and Hiyori regretted it, and ever since then, she had been spending more time with Yato and Yukine to make sure it won't happen again. It hasn't happened, but that lingering fear still crept from time to time. It never left. It won't leave. Her eyes strayed to Yato's blue ones, as he stared at everything but her. They had been afraid of something so similar.

They were both afraid.

It may have been a god who influenced it, it may be the cold, it may be some unseen force and call, but she didnt delve much into it, right now, Yato was more important that that. Before she knew it, Hiyori let go of Yato and wove her arms around his torso, bringing the god closer to her. Yato's head snapped back at Hiyori. His heart pounded and his cheeks turned cherry red as his mind registered that the girl is hugging him.

"Everything's alright, Yato. Everything's alright." Hiyori soothed as her hands slowly caressed his back. Yato stared at her, his arms unable to move at his side. "Everything is alright, Yato…." Hiyori looked up at him, her face showing pain and understanding, "I'm afraid too."

The rain poured harder and hid them in their own world.

Without even realizing it, Yato found himself hugging her back as tears slid down his face. He pulled her closer and buried his face into the crook of her neck, the rain acting as a barrier from everything around them. For now, it was just him and her, in the middle of nothing.

It was enough.

"Th-that wasn't the only reason." Yato whispered into her ear, Hiyori attempted to pull away to look at him when he kept a tight grip on her. "No, don't let go. Stay with me, like this… just a little longer, Hiyori" Yato's voice cracked. He closed his eyes shut and involuntarily tightened his arms around her. "Just a little longer. Please." She smiled at him softly and nodded.

"I wished to be a mortal because…" He hesitated, cowardice creeping his mind.

 _After this, if she decides that it's better we cut ties, then so be it…_

He opened his mouth, heaved a breath and started, "Hiyori. I am hopelessly in lo-"

Suddenly, a truck passed and drowned what he said in a loud honk.

Silence

Yato's expression turned from sincere to annoyed as he grit his teeth and cracked his knuckles.

"What Yato? I didn't catch that."

He grunted before burying his face in the crook of Hiyori's neck.

"Yato, are you moping?" she said with a laugh in her voice.

"Yes. Comfort me." Yato sulked. Hiyori laughed, the heavy atmosphere immediately leaving. She patted his head and said, "There, there."

"I'm still moping. Hug me tighter." He said as he played with a strand of her hair. Hiyori did it and giggled.

"Hold my hand, Hiyori."

"Sure, Yato." Hiyori dragged the 'O' and quirked her brows at him. She proceeded to slide her fingers into his, the move, making her blush. "There, anything you still need, Oh sulking Yato-gami?" she joked.

"Stay with me." she shivered as his breath tickled her ears. Hiyori gulped and tried to calm her heartbeat.

"Of course." She laughed, albeit her heart was hammering in her ribcage. Hiyori was suddenly thankful that by hugging Yato, he won't be seeing the flustered look on her face. "A-anythi-"

"Love me."

The moment the words left Yato's lips, Hiyori froze. The butterflies in her stomach went berserk.

She abruptly pulled away, and looked at him. Droplets of rain cascaded down his bangs, his face, his nose, his lips, his jaw, his neck, his-

She stopped, the heat rushing to her face.

"I'm serious." She whipped her head to face him, hurricanes and cyclones forming around them. Their eyes clashed, right then Hiyori realized, all those cyclones grew pale against the storm in his. "Ya-"

Yato cut her off, his other hand coming to brush the bangs from his eyes.

"It's ironic. It's laughable. I'm a god and I can't even command a human to love me. Should've considered another job instead, no?" He sighed, his arms slowly unweaving itself from Hiyori's waist. "Look, let's just get this over with. I want to go home and... Reconsider my choices. If you're that worried, I'll try to stop thinking about 'IT'. Try to act like this rendezvous under one hell of a storm never happened, cause I su-" Yato didn't get to finish his sentence for at that moment, Hiyori punched him right on his jaw.

"Stupid…" she whispered, her bangs covering her face.

Yato gaped at her while his hand cradled his jaw. His mouth hung agape as the move registered.

 _Did she just punch me?_ The ache worsened as everything was processed. He turned to Hiyori and opened his mouth.

"Why did y-"

"Stupid. Just shut up." The air got knocked out of Yato when Hiyori grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down, their lips meeting halfway.

His eyes widened. All at once, thousands of colors bombarded him as raging thunder erupted in his belly. Hiyori's lips were warm on his despite the shivering cold. She moved closer.

Thunder crackled from the distance, in tune with both their feelings.

Slowly, his eyes closed. His rough hands combed through Hiyori's wet onyx hair and settled behind her ears. They stayed like that under the rain, heartbeats pounding in their ears. Her grip on his collar loosened as she slowly pulled away from him, their eyes half lidded.

"Ya-"

The god interrupted and grabbed Hiyori by the waist. He clutched her head and in one swift movement, kissed her again. This time, it was filled with passion and resignation. The euphoria spread from their lips to every cell of their body. The darkness was their barrier, the pitter patter was their music, and the rain was their confidant. Yato held Hiyori's waist and pulled her to him tighter, her scent overrode his senses as he continued, all thoughts of his message gone. He pulled away, the adrenaline and dopamine still present and coursing in his bloodstream. They were both flustered

Hiyori looked at him from the corners of her eyes. Her breathing still ragged.

"Uhh, so..." she started, eyes straying from him as she fidgeted from her position. She wondered if it was real, had they kissed each other and ignored laws of the universe? A god and a mere half-phantom, together? Surely she must be in some weird dream. Hiyori blushed, by the tingle of her lips, she knew she wasn't dreaming.

"Yeah, so…" he blushed and coyly brought his hand to rub his nape. Yato observed her blushing state and added, "S- so… should I take that as an "I love you too?""

"F- for a god, you're stupid. Of course you sh- should." Hiyori turned to him.

"A-and does that mean we're a thing now?" he stuttered, inching little closer to Hiyori. Without meaning to, he nudged and looked at her hand, the blush on his cheeks turning a deep crimson against the dark surroundings. Hiyori's eyes followed his, her heartbeat going over what was considered healthy. She slowly and cautiously intertwined it with his, the rain pounding in their ears.

The gesture was chaste but the meaning was heard. Yato brightened and laughed, his hands tightening his hold on hers. He faced the blushing Hiyori and grinned,

"Do you want to head home now?"

"Y-yeah... Sure" She sighed and leaned her body towards him

Yato smiled and wrapped his arms around her as they stood in the middle of the tumult of rain falling on them.

He chuckled, "Your wish has been heard loud and clear."

 _::::_

 _The morning after that…_

"Yukine! Look at this!" Yato exclaimed, his hand raised with Hiyori's tightly gripped in it.

Yukine looked up from reading his textbook, his eyes darting from the grinning Yato, the bashful Hiyori and their interlocked hands. His eyes settled on both of them, bored.

"It was bound to happen anyway." He shrugged and stood up, rummaging through his drawer before pulling out a thick book. He walked to them and handed it to Yato, "I've prepared this for quite some time now." He nodded to the book, "Those are rules when dating Hiyori. Hurt her and I'll sell all your luck charms." He said, a threatening undertone to his voice, "Good luck reading." The regalia snickered at his master's reaction while walking back to study.

 _It sure hell took them long._

 _::::_

Happiness was an understatement when it came to what they both felt. They were beyond ecstatic, but... occasionally, they would go back to the sakura tree, in the dead of the night, and….

Cry.

They would cry in each other's arms and wake up the next day to puffy eyes.

For what would he do, if Hiyori died and Yato would still continue to be?

 _perish_

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 **AN:** Yeah… the ending's pretty sad. I tried to lighten the mood a bit towards the end, but it still gravitated to that angst filled direction. Hate me if you will. Still, leave a review! Long and constructive criticisms are loved!


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